Today is a beautiful spring day, the sun is out, the birds are singing and signs all point to no more snow. Thank the Lord! We are in the last few weeks of school, were really trying to stay with it, and on top of everything but we just really want to let the kids stay up late and play with their friends ‘till the sun starts to set. We are ready for bonfires, and gardening, and being outside as much as we can. But we’re trying to stick with it and there always seems to be so much doing at the end of the year. May is just crazy!!
This morning I was supposed to head to the gym after I dropped the big boys off to school. However, I just could not do it. I was dressed and ready too. I decided to head home after the twins and I hit the grocery store for some fruit and cereal for the week. Cereal is a food group with my family, I blame my husband who is deeply passionate about his cereal. It is it’s very own food group in our house. On the drive home I immediately began to give myself a guilt trip for not going to the gym. I have goals I remind myself, my health is important and so on. But I couldn’t convince myself to go. I really love going the gym, and its not usually too much of a struggle to get me there. This was more then I just didn’t feel like it. It was a deeper tired, I was just on E. I stopped the guilt talk and I gave myself grace and reminded myself that my mental and emotional health is just as important. This past week was very busy, meetings, doctor visits, spring concerts, a big event I was working on with IJM, (International Justice Mission) and its ok to just stay home and be still. This is how I regroup, restore, it’s another way for me to connect with God. It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others and whip out the “shoulds” but I am starting to realize when I start saying “I should”, I stop and dig a little deeper and figure out my real motives. Is it that I am being lazy or do I really need to rest today (we know sometimes it is the first- for real)?
So, we came home and we made our breakfast and had a slow start. We then went outside, the twins “helped” me garden as much as any three year-old toddlers can and we enjoyed the sunshine, and just being in the dirt. We looked at bugs, and they chased birds. There is something about nature and God, something about being out in his creation that restores us and revives us. Where we can get away from the screens in our lives, to stop listening to those voices and hear the one who created it all. There are so many verses in the bible that talk about nature and creation. Psalms 8:3-4 says “When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that your are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?”
After we came in, my boy Bennett was asking to take a nap, which is a rarity these days. My girl Lucy, who should be tired since she kept me up last night, of course is not napping. She should be a joy around 5pm tonight! My hubby and I jokingly refer to her lately as Taka from Moana in these moments. I really do think they are tired after the weekend too, and needed a slow morning as much as mama did.
Sometimes it’s ok to skip the gym, go slow about your day. Focus on the beauty and good around you, make tea, start a new book. Listen to the trees rustle outside your window, which to me always reminds me of the way the ocean sounds. It’s like it’s breathing, in and out, just being, not doing. I think we were meant to live with purpose, and we are here to learn how to live and love. I think God wants us to also to enjoy life and his creation, this life is a gift! There is something about stopping the doing and just “be” sometimes. The laundry and to-do list can wait. Just be.
God doesn’t care if you have the perfect body, or the perfect house and yard. He doesn’t care how much money you have. I think he cares much more about our heart. (Side-note: Yes, he entrusted with us with these things to be good stewards of. I believe in putting good clean food in our bodies, and exercising, taking care of what God has given you.) However, I know when I stop and slow down, and appreciate the beauty around me, and the thankfulness grows in me and I intern am a more joyful person. I Sometimes think it’s a little like how I look at my yard, on how I see it. Sometimes I see it with my own critical eyes, the same eyes I see myself with at times and sometimes I see it the way I think God sees it and us..
For example, I look at my yard and I see what others must see, more dandelions then grass, some bald spots here and there, how lumpy it is. I start to feel overwhelmed by all the “doing” that needs to be done to it. But other times, when I am just out there simply to appreciate the outdoors, I look at it differently and I see beautiful yellow spots across my yard, I see big happy bumble bees going to flower to flower. Instead of holes, I see how many animals that have made my yard their homes. The bunnies choose my yard year after year to have their babies, even though I think they have poor judgement because they forget about my dog, who enjoys playing toss the baby bunnies into the air, bless! We have bird nests under our deck and in our trees. I see where my kids have played and thrown sand outside the sandbox and remember the fun moments. I see a yard where it’s safe for their bare feet to run; I see grass patches gone under their swings where they have pretended to be rocket ships a million times. I see the raspberries and strawberries that grow each year and recall the sweet memories when the kids get to pick them and have berry faces and empty berry bowls. For those moments,’ I do not see the projects, the have-to’s, the imperfections. I see the life that is being lived, the beauty that is here in all imperfect glory. To me that is what I love about Jesus, because with him, my load is light, to Him I am enough. There is such freedom found in Him and when I reconnect with that, that’s essentially what I am doing when I slow down. I am renewed.
So today, take some time to reconnect; take some time to just be; take some to get outside and listen to the trees and the birds. No screens, no distractions, let the thankfulness come and the freedom of knowing Whose you are return.
