Fearless 2017

A New Year is upon us....

In reflection, this last year was pretty good to me. It was a year of intentionality for me. That was my word for last year; its theme, if you will. I had seen others do this, where instead of just New Year’s resolutions, you pray and think about a word you want to focus on for the year. Mine was intentional. Every area in my life needed me to be more intentional - my relationships, my marriage, my health, my attitude. 

I feel I achieved it in many ways. I was able to reconnect with friends this last year and spend time with new ones. I got to travel to some amazing places. Zak and I have been more intentional in our time together, devotions, and growing our relationship. Within our own four walls, we have been intentional with family time, and connecting each night with the kids. We aren’t perfect, but we’ve taken steps in the right direction. I was also intentional in my health and exercise. This was a big one for me this year, but it really has become part of my lifestyle dare for the first time. 

The last few weeks, I have been thinking about what my word is for 2017. Through prayer, thought, and conversation, I think my word is FEARLESS. 

If I can be totally transparent for a moment, the word itself gets me worried. Why this word? What will I have to be fearless against? ...and the thoughts keep going. 

Hence why it needs to be my word. 

I have taken some steps in bravery over the last few years in saying “yes” to things I would have once avoided. But I have still tiptoed around doing fearlessness fully. I still worry too much about what others think. I still worry too much, period. 

So this year I want to be fearless - in who I am and in who God created me to be. 

I have always felt out of place, like a misfit my entire life. The harder I ever tried to fit in, the more awkward I would become. I have always been a little on the quirky side, and I have never identified with the so called “cool kids.” I was 6ft tall in 6th grade and wasn’t into sports at the time. In fact, when people commented on my height and asked me what sports I played, I would push up my pink glasses, toss back my freshly permed hair and respond with “I like to read books, I don’t play sports.” They usually stopped talking with me at that point. 

The point of my rambling is this, I want to be fearless in the things God has put in my heart and all the ingredients that make up me. I want to walk in that boldly and unapologetically. I want to be okay with not being everyone’s cup of tea. Because frankly, you are probably not mine either. And that’s okay - not everyone is “our people.” 

I am a 6ft tall girl with a Minnesotan accent despite moving and trying hard not to say "you guys." 

I am a bit nerdy, I think a good time is me with a great book.  I love makeup, a great pair of shoes and big hair. I love to read and write and I still mess up on my grammar...all the time. Math is a foreign language to me. I love old movie, movies with heart and soul and all the Lethal Weapons. Don't judge me. I have no rhythm. As much as I want to be good at Zumba, this may never be a reality for me. But I still may go and shake it any ways. I am deeply sensitive, a “feeler” if you will, I feel your pain. My heart breaks every day for the things that others go through and endure. I am social, yet an introvert. My emotions get the best of me most days. I have always talked too much and sometimes say the wrong thing. I have lost count of how many times I have had to insert my big foot (no really size 11) in my dumb sarcastic mouth. Small talk is not my forte, awkward is. I believe I am funny and my people think I am too.  I am done apologizing for being a mess, for taking up too much space in this world, and for not being perfect. I am just going to be who God made me to be. I am the tall, nerdy, awkward girl that likes to wear big hats. Yes. More hats will be worn this year. Amen. 

I want to be fearless in my new position with IJM. It’s a volunteer position but I had to interview for it. It had been ten years since I have interviewed for anything so that alone took me some courage. I want to be fearless in being a voice for those who do not. I want to help raise up more awareness here in Minnesota and grow more and more freedom-fighting partners. I want to be fearless in standing with the 27 million people in slavery today. I want to be fearless for those children being abused, for the young women who are trafficked and tortured, and to fearlessly to be a voice for those who may never have one. 

I want to be fearless in my walk with Jesus - to let him continue to direct my steps and to live “palms up” as Bob Goff says. I want to surrender fearlessly to his will and to trust without always knowing all the details.  I want to be the kind of women that “laughs at the days ahead” and that doesn’t worry about tomorrow. 

I want to be fearless in my faith - the “I hit my knees before I freak out” kind of faith. Faith, I believe is something we learn, something we practice. It’s like confidence or fearlessness - we may not always “feel it.” But when practice it, live it, and walk it out..it follows and grows. When I am not feeling it, I will play this song on repeat. 

This is one of my verses for the year. 

Also this  --  Psalms 91:12 This I declare about the Lord, he alone is my refuge, my place of safety, he is my and I trust him. I want to have faith over fear in my daily life. (Yes, I went a little quote-happy this blog, but there are so many good ones I had to share." 

So as we embark on a new year filled with new memories, adventures - some good and some maybe harder than others - let’s remember what Psalms 9:10 says “those who know your name will put their trust in you, for you Lord, have not forsaken those who trust you and seek you.”

I’m ready. Happy New Year, friends - What's your word for 2017?

Perhaps Christmas means a little bit more....

I wanted to write this weeks ago before we headed into the Christmas season to give some ideas on how we are trying to do Christmas differently in our house. But as usual, the weeks flew by and here we are December 4th and in full-on Christmas mode.

So just a quick note on how we do Christmas. It’s not set in stone. It may work some years and not others. I may find new things to throw in there. I’m crazy like that!

It began a few years back when we had Liam and Kellan. Christmas started to feel a little empty for us. We struggled financially and worried our Christmas's mornings would not compare. In that insecurity we would over leverage ourselves and spend more then we should. On top of that I think our parents may have over compensated for us these years as well, or maybe just excited over grand babies. Either way the boys still ended up with so much stuff.  

We started to see little entitled attitudes beginning to emerge from the boys. They were never really thankful for all they had under the tree. We realized our perspective had been off. Inspired by other bloggers trying to live differently in a world that is already too self-focused, we decided to change things up. See previous blog. 

Ever since Elf on the Shelf debuted, my 8-year old son has begged us to get one. You see, “all” his friends have one and he is convinced we’re the only people on the planet not doing it. I’ve always given a firm NO backed with my reasoning. I get that it can be fun. But I just didn’t want the pressure of one more thing to do each night for the month of December and more focus on “what am I going to get?” It just seemed like too much. 

After much back and forth over the years with my oldest (who I’m pretty sure could be destined for a career as a lawyer), I pitched him the idea of “Kindness Elves.” My friend had told me about the idea last year. I loved it, but just wasn’t up for it that year. And I may have been secretly hoping that they’d forget about Elf of the Shelf. However, firstborns don’t forget. Thankfully, Liam loved the idea of the Kindness Elves and so began the dawn of a new era in the Kane household. At least for this year. Meet Kandy and Kane...clever, I know. wink-wink.

I will keep you posted on some of our random acts of kindness. The first two days went really well! The kids were so excited and giggling, they swear they saw foot prints in the freshly fallen snow that morning. They went to making cards for the mail carrier straight away and we had a lovely morning. So maybe there will be something to these elves after all. 

I have found it true in life that when I’m going through something, sometimes the best way to move forward is to help someone else. There’s a kind of healing that happens. It lifts our spirits just as much, perhaps even more. The times we’ve served as a family are some of my all-time favorite memories. We laugh, meet new friends, and focus on that moment.

The best thing is that it brings us all together as a family, too. We’re on mission together. We’ve seen our kids hearts change. They bring new ideas to the table throughout the year. We have seen a shift in our house and hearts and we like it. The holidays seem a little richer, a little more meaningful. I’m excited for the adventure and new memories that the kindness challenges will bring this season. 

Another thing we have added is the book by Ann Voskamp, "Unwrapping the Greatest gift: A family Celebration of Christmas." Each night, I read a day. I try to make it fun - sitting around having hot cocoa or under the Christmas tree. But there are nights we miss, or times we read it over breakfast. Remember, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Do what you can, keep it simple, and just enjoy it. You can order it here. 

This is our third year where for Christmas gifts for the kids we are doing “something you want, something you need, something you wear, somethings you read.” I think we are lifers on this one. It makes shopping easier for me and less stressful, the kids seem even more content with what they get that morning. It has shifted attitudes and hearts all around. 

Another thing that helps me enjoy this season more is saying “no.” It’s ok if you can’t go to every holiday party that is happening. It’s okay if you can’t face one more day shopping amongst the masses – BLESS YOU AMAZON. It’s okay to know when you need to stay home with your family and unplug.

I think serving and kindness to others are what we’re called to do all year round - to stay alert and do what we can for those in our zone of life. To say thank you more, to remember how hard the postal carrier works, to think of the people in the most thankless jobs.  I like to focus even more so this time of year when we’re spending all this money, trying to find the perfect gifts. It gives us perspective and helps us keep our focus on what truly matters each day.   

It’s important to remember that for so many, this is a difficult time of year. Those who are living paycheck to paycheck are wondering what they are going to do come Christmas. I have been that person and the stress of Christmas was too much some years. It’s important to remember to show our kids that so much of the world doesn’t live this way. But being together and the memories we make are the sweetest gifts of all. So this year (and every year) - “Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more!”