Find your Rhythm

*Disclaimer: I love ALL mommas – work mommas, home mommas, ministry mommas, warrior mommas* This is just my experience with finding my rhythm in motherhood.

Seven years ago, we decided that instead of both of us working, that I would stay at home with our firstborn.  It was not an easy choice. I  remember I was elated about this and felt so at peace with this decision; even though it meant relocating to my parents’ basement for a few months and tight budget to follow. And when I say tight, I mean there was a negative in that budget balance.  

Over the years, I wavered in my choice. I let insecurity be a voice in my head. I let tough times tell me that I made a mistake. I believed I was less of a person and woman because I did not have a career, a cute wardrobe, and extra cash in my pocket. I let comparison rob me of my joy. 

But along the way as I focused in more on Jesus and his love for me, I began to remember the dreams of my childhood.

The dreams he planted in me so long ago. The biggest dream of all was being a mom. 

I began slowly to listen to God’s voice instead of those of the world or the negative ones in my head. I started to believe the word of God and what it said of me. Loved, forgiven, set free, victorious child of God. That I was born to be a mother and born for this role as homemaker. It’s kind of a funny word, “homemaker.” The definition is “one who manages a household.”  So much goes into managing a household. Yes, there’s cooking and cleaning, finances,  laundry…SO MUCH LAUNDRY. Jesus be near.

It isn’t a glamorous job most days. I still fight the bad attitude when scrubbing peed-on toilets and sorting laundry. Did I mention that there is a lot of laundry?

I have four kids and the years of babies were hard years for me. Especially with the twins, numbers 3 & 4. I felt like survival was all that I could focus on. Now that the twins are 2 1/2 and we are leaving the baby phase, it’s a whole new world. One where I can take them places and leave the house without...well…nearing a nervous breakdown. ;)

Now I am entering a new season. My older two boys are getting busy with school, sports, and church. I am also back at school finishing my degree.  God keeps planting new dreams. 

But for me it’s a time to “own my zone” - own this label of homemaker and do it well to my standards. Not to Pinterest’s standards, or to the standards of that one mom who seems to always have it together. But to the standard that God has given me, to use the gifts he has given me to raise up the children he has entrusted me with.

Yes a large part of my duties as homemaker are not that exciting. But I get to be the one that is here in the morning and at night. I get to be the one who prays with them each day. I get to hold them when they are sick. I get to speak life over them every chance I get. I get to make the house they live in a home. It may not be huge and fancy, but it’s cozy and filled with touches of how I love them all around. I get to take them on adventures and impact how they see their world.

I get to prepare them for their futures and of course prepare them for doing their own laundry.

Amen. Their wives will thank me.

I think moms are so amazing. Every mom has their own gifts and strengths they bring into their homes. For most of us, it takes time - time to find our own rhythm in motherhood. With each child we add, or life change we have, we have to reframe and adjust our rhythm. 

God is writing our music. Each mom has a different song. We each have to find our own. 

Let’s be honest, I mess up a lot. I lose my cool more than I’d like to admit. I am not always the mother I want to be. When those moments happen, the devil loves to tell us how we have failed and how we will never measure up. He is such a liar. He wants you to give up. He is scared what will happen if you start to embrace who God created you to be. It’s true that we will never be perfect. But that’s why we need Jesus. We need his Grace. We need his love. We need his spirit. We cannot do this alone.

We also need each other. Recently in a book I am reading, I came across this scripture, Titus 2:

“Older women be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. They can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind.” 

This verse gave me so much hope. We are not meant to do it alone. I pray that I can be this to others, to my daughter, and to women around me who are walking the long days of motherhood (or should we call it babyhood). Those years of sleep deprivation are long but quick and there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

So moms - run to Jesus. Listen to what he says about you. Live with purpose. Those days where you are changing diapers, cleaning unimaginable things, and you feel so weary, give yourself grace. Run to Him, seek Him. He loves you and has so many good things for your life. He made you, he wants you to be you. He created you just for what your children need. 

My crazy troop of monkeys and I "watching" a movie on a Friday night.