The wind has changed...

The wind has changed.  It feels as if it was one sudden moment and everything I knew is not what it was… Yet, it has probably slowly been changing direction for a while, I just didn’t feel it this time.

It is amazing in how a moment our life can drastically change, a phone call, a diagnosis. Usually nothing we ever want to occur in our life. I sometimes laugh at the title of my blog: “Life not according to plan”. It may not go as planned, most likely will not, but here is where the choice is. I think this is where a little of the magic of life lies. It is what we do when our life does not go to plan, because sometimes our plans are not what is best. Sometimes our plans our hurting us more then we think. Sometimes our plans our keeping us from what God has intended for our lives. Sometimes bad things just happen. We live in a broken world.

In one week, so many things came to light. Some health stuff I’ve been walking through for a while and a personal issue. Its felt like a lot for one week. That is sometimes how it happens.   The old me would’ve been in a ball on my bed, asking “Why God? Why me?”.  This me, gets that bad things happen sometimes. I still don’t like it, I can wine about life not being fair, but what good will that really do? The weekend that followed the heavy week, I had a women’s conference I was attending with a bunch of my friends. It was an amazing two days that I so needed!!  I just felt so loved that first night, it was God’s little grace to me.  It was him reminding me I am not alone, and I’m loved, a daughter.  If you knew my past, you would know that I have really struggled with that one, daughter.  Here I am at the ripe old age of 37, I am finally starting to accept His love. I am starting to get it, and when that happens, that’s when things start changing. That is when you stop believing the lies you have been told, we all have them. I have been told a handful, mainly two I have heard since I was young.  However no more!  I choose not to believe them any longer!  It’s my choice!  They still come, but now I fight back, and they don’t stay nearly as long.  

On my drive home from this conference, I was praying and thinking, and I said, “God I know this isn’t your fault, I know you didn’t cause this, but can I ask why?” Why would you rebuild so much only to be here again? And then I heard him say to me, “I’ve been rebuilding you.” I was instantly flooded with peace that night. A night where normally I would’ve let fear take over. I slept that night!  Like actually slept through the night!  This had not been my norm for a while, but it has been since then. With the exception of this night, where a dream woke me up and I decided to write this down instead of tossing and turning.

Even my dream was kind of odd yet awesome and does relate to this topic. I was walking out of a store and I was being followed by this man. I was scared and saw this old woman and asked if I could walk with her. I took her arm and we walked a little way and then out of nowhere, two or three men came out at us.  The first one punched me in the chest so hard, that it knocked the wind out of me!  As they were hitting us both, the old woman looked at me and said, “why are we allowing this, we can fight back!”  Then I began to fight, and I poked them in the eyes and started to hit back. Then it was over and I walked the old lady to her car and I left. I know a little odd, but it was one of those that felt so real to me.

How much do we allow in our lives? How much do we settle and not fight for our life? I feel like everywhere lately the phrase “Rise up”, in music, in books, in different speaking messages I hear, in conversations I have with friends. It’s not just for me but for you too. Maybe you are going through a winter season and you have had enough. Rise up!

The Bible talks a lot about not worrying about the future, about not thinking of tomorrow, and for the first time in my life, I am not going to, nor will I wallow about the past. I am going to focus on just today. What can I do today? How can I live today? Break it down more if you have to. This hour, what can you do in this hour?   Glennon Doyle says, “focus on the next right thing”.  Yes, keep it simple and let us not get so far ahead of ourselves.

In crisis, we find ourselves living this way, but this is the way we should be living anyways. I am not going to fear the change in wind, the beginning of a new season. Instead of labelling it a bad season, I am going to give it to God, my worrying can’t fix one thing. He can use this season for good! He brings restoration, He is my healer.  He can put it back together better then I could’ve dreamed. But I can’t just sit back and do nothing.  I have to move too.  I am going to look at this season as a season where I am going to “Rise up”. To be more bold then I have ever before, take chances, and dream big dreams!  I know there will be hard moments, there will be times the tears come and bring me to my knees, but I won’t stay there. For example, last week I was attempting to bake and my mixer was not working and I lost it. It went from my mixer is broken to everything is broken. Just a wee bit of the drama. Waves of emotion are normal, and will arise at unexpected moments.  However, I don’t stay there, I have the choice to rise up. I can because of Him.

There is something so freeing when you surrender it all, something freeing when you start to do things you’ve wanted to but just didn’t think you could, or should. There is freedom in just going for it! There is freedom in just being who God created you to be. Nothing less, nothing more.

So lets focus on today, the next right thing and before your feet hit the floor tell yourself to “Rise Up”. When fear and doubt start flooding your thoughts, tell Him “I trust you” peace will follow. The theme at our women’s conference was Flourish.  Pretty appropriate at this moment in life. We were made to Flourish, to live free, to be who we were created to be.

Let’s rise up and flourish together!

"For we walk by faith, not by sight." (2nd Corinthians 5:7)

"For the Lord is the spirit and wherever the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." (2nd Corinthians 3:17)