I wanted to write this weeks ago before we headed into the Christmas season to give some ideas on how we are trying to do Christmas differently in our house. But as usual, the weeks flew by and here we are December 4th and in full-on Christmas mode.
So just a quick note on how we do Christmas. It’s not set in stone. It may work some years and not others. I may find new things to throw in there. I’m crazy like that!
It began a few years back when we had Liam and Kellan. Christmas started to feel a little empty for us. We struggled financially and worried our Christmas's mornings would not compare. In that insecurity we would over leverage ourselves and spend more then we should. On top of that I think our parents may have over compensated for us these years as well, or maybe just excited over grand babies. Either way the boys still ended up with so much stuff.
We started to see little entitled attitudes beginning to emerge from the boys. They were never really thankful for all they had under the tree. We realized our perspective had been off. Inspired by other bloggers trying to live differently in a world that is already too self-focused, we decided to change things up. See previous blog.
Ever since Elf on the Shelf debuted, my 8-year old son has begged us to get one. You see, “all” his friends have one and he is convinced we’re the only people on the planet not doing it. I’ve always given a firm NO backed with my reasoning. I get that it can be fun. But I just didn’t want the pressure of one more thing to do each night for the month of December and more focus on “what am I going to get?” It just seemed like too much.
After much back and forth over the years with my oldest (who I’m pretty sure could be destined for a career as a lawyer), I pitched him the idea of “Kindness Elves.” My friend had told me about the idea last year. I loved it, but just wasn’t up for it that year. And I may have been secretly hoping that they’d forget about Elf of the Shelf. However, firstborns don’t forget. Thankfully, Liam loved the idea of the Kindness Elves and so began the dawn of a new era in the Kane household. At least for this year. Meet Kandy and Kane...clever, I know. wink-wink.
I will keep you posted on some of our random acts of kindness. The first two days went really well! The kids were so excited and giggling, they swear they saw foot prints in the freshly fallen snow that morning. They went to making cards for the mail carrier straight away and we had a lovely morning. So maybe there will be something to these elves after all.
I have found it true in life that when I’m going through something, sometimes the best way to move forward is to help someone else. There’s a kind of healing that happens. It lifts our spirits just as much, perhaps even more. The times we’ve served as a family are some of my all-time favorite memories. We laugh, meet new friends, and focus on that moment.
The best thing is that it brings us all together as a family, too. We’re on mission together. We’ve seen our kids hearts change. They bring new ideas to the table throughout the year. We have seen a shift in our house and hearts and we like it. The holidays seem a little richer, a little more meaningful. I’m excited for the adventure and new memories that the kindness challenges will bring this season.
Another thing we have added is the book by Ann Voskamp, "Unwrapping the Greatest gift: A family Celebration of Christmas." Each night, I read a day. I try to make it fun - sitting around having hot cocoa or under the Christmas tree. But there are nights we miss, or times we read it over breakfast. Remember, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Do what you can, keep it simple, and just enjoy it. You can order it here.
This is our third year where for Christmas gifts for the kids we are doing “something you want, something you need, something you wear, somethings you read.” I think we are lifers on this one. It makes shopping easier for me and less stressful, the kids seem even more content with what they get that morning. It has shifted attitudes and hearts all around.
Another thing that helps me enjoy this season more is saying “no.” It’s ok if you can’t go to every holiday party that is happening. It’s okay if you can’t face one more day shopping amongst the masses – BLESS YOU AMAZON. It’s okay to know when you need to stay home with your family and unplug.
I think serving and kindness to others are what we’re called to do all year round - to stay alert and do what we can for those in our zone of life. To say thank you more, to remember how hard the postal carrier works, to think of the people in the most thankless jobs. I like to focus even more so this time of year when we’re spending all this money, trying to find the perfect gifts. It gives us perspective and helps us keep our focus on what truly matters each day.
It’s important to remember that for so many, this is a difficult time of year. Those who are living paycheck to paycheck are wondering what they are going to do come Christmas. I have been that person and the stress of Christmas was too much some years. It’s important to remember to show our kids that so much of the world doesn’t live this way. But being together and the memories we make are the sweetest gifts of all. So this year (and every year) - “Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more!”
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