Fearless 2017

A New Year is upon us....

In reflection, this last year was pretty good to me. It was a year of intentionality for me. That was my word for last year; its theme, if you will. I had seen others do this, where instead of just New Year’s resolutions, you pray and think about a word you want to focus on for the year. Mine was intentional. Every area in my life needed me to be more intentional - my relationships, my marriage, my health, my attitude. 

I feel I achieved it in many ways. I was able to reconnect with friends this last year and spend time with new ones. I got to travel to some amazing places. Zak and I have been more intentional in our time together, devotions, and growing our relationship. Within our own four walls, we have been intentional with family time, and connecting each night with the kids. We aren’t perfect, but we’ve taken steps in the right direction. I was also intentional in my health and exercise. This was a big one for me this year, but it really has become part of my lifestyle dare for the first time. 

The last few weeks, I have been thinking about what my word is for 2017. Through prayer, thought, and conversation, I think my word is FEARLESS. 

If I can be totally transparent for a moment, the word itself gets me worried. Why this word? What will I have to be fearless against? ...and the thoughts keep going. 

Hence why it needs to be my word. 

I have taken some steps in bravery over the last few years in saying “yes” to things I would have once avoided. But I have still tiptoed around doing fearlessness fully. I still worry too much about what others think. I still worry too much, period. 

So this year I want to be fearless - in who I am and in who God created me to be. 

I have always felt out of place, like a misfit my entire life. The harder I ever tried to fit in, the more awkward I would become. I have always been a little on the quirky side, and I have never identified with the so called “cool kids.” I was 6ft tall in 6th grade and wasn’t into sports at the time. In fact, when people commented on my height and asked me what sports I played, I would push up my pink glasses, toss back my freshly permed hair and respond with “I like to read books, I don’t play sports.” They usually stopped talking with me at that point. 

The point of my rambling is this, I want to be fearless in the things God has put in my heart and all the ingredients that make up me. I want to walk in that boldly and unapologetically. I want to be okay with not being everyone’s cup of tea. Because frankly, you are probably not mine either. And that’s okay - not everyone is “our people.” 

I am a 6ft tall girl with a Minnesotan accent despite moving and trying hard not to say "you guys." 

I am a bit nerdy, I think a good time is me with a great book.  I love makeup, a great pair of shoes and big hair. I love to read and write and I still mess up on my grammar...all the time. Math is a foreign language to me. I love old movie, movies with heart and soul and all the Lethal Weapons. Don't judge me. I have no rhythm. As much as I want to be good at Zumba, this may never be a reality for me. But I still may go and shake it any ways. I am deeply sensitive, a “feeler” if you will, I feel your pain. My heart breaks every day for the things that others go through and endure. I am social, yet an introvert. My emotions get the best of me most days. I have always talked too much and sometimes say the wrong thing. I have lost count of how many times I have had to insert my big foot (no really size 11) in my dumb sarcastic mouth. Small talk is not my forte, awkward is. I believe I am funny and my people think I am too.  I am done apologizing for being a mess, for taking up too much space in this world, and for not being perfect. I am just going to be who God made me to be. I am the tall, nerdy, awkward girl that likes to wear big hats. Yes. More hats will be worn this year. Amen. 

I want to be fearless in my new position with IJM. It’s a volunteer position but I had to interview for it. It had been ten years since I have interviewed for anything so that alone took me some courage. I want to be fearless in being a voice for those who do not. I want to help raise up more awareness here in Minnesota and grow more and more freedom-fighting partners. I want to be fearless in standing with the 27 million people in slavery today. I want to be fearless for those children being abused, for the young women who are trafficked and tortured, and to fearlessly to be a voice for those who may never have one. 

I want to be fearless in my walk with Jesus - to let him continue to direct my steps and to live “palms up” as Bob Goff says. I want to surrender fearlessly to his will and to trust without always knowing all the details.  I want to be the kind of women that “laughs at the days ahead” and that doesn’t worry about tomorrow. 

I want to be fearless in my faith - the “I hit my knees before I freak out” kind of faith. Faith, I believe is something we learn, something we practice. It’s like confidence or fearlessness - we may not always “feel it.” But when practice it, live it, and walk it out..it follows and grows. When I am not feeling it, I will play this song on repeat. 

This is one of my verses for the year. 

Also this  --  Psalms 91:12 This I declare about the Lord, he alone is my refuge, my place of safety, he is my and I trust him. I want to have faith over fear in my daily life. (Yes, I went a little quote-happy this blog, but there are so many good ones I had to share." 

So as we embark on a new year filled with new memories, adventures - some good and some maybe harder than others - let’s remember what Psalms 9:10 says “those who know your name will put their trust in you, for you Lord, have not forsaken those who trust you and seek you.”

I’m ready. Happy New Year, friends - What's your word for 2017?